We've already built a bit of a foundation on the concept of relationships within Emily Dickinson's life. We know that she was fond of writing and keeping in touch with close friends, but that she also wasn't physically present in a number of her friendships. It is also known that Emily never married, though she did come close to the prospect a couple of times. With this bit of background knowledge, I would like to explore Emily's thoughts on relationships as they are expressed in her poetry. In the writing of over 1,700 poems, it only seems natural that Emily would write some about this important subject, and, in fact, there are hundreds to choose from. I would like to look at two specific poems: the first relates to friendships, the second (depending on the reading) relates to love and the desire for an intimate/sexual relationship.
The first poem is number 303. This is a well-known Emily Dickinson poem, often one that will be anthologized. However, it works wonderfully for exploring her thoughts toward friendship specifically, and relationships in general.
The Soul selects her own Society—
Then—shuts the Door—
To her divine Majority—
Present no more—
Unmoved—she notes the Chariots—pausing—
At her low Gate—
Unmoved—an Emperor be kneeling
Upon her Mat—
I've known her—from an ample nation—
Choose One—
Then—close the Valves of her attention—
Like Stone—
Like most poems, and definitely all of Dickinson's poetry, there is more than one way to look at this poem. We will look at it from two different sides, but I believe there is plenty of room for other interpretations.
The first interpretation of this poem says that the speaker is Emily. In this she is saying that her soul selects who she wants to be around. It's a matter of Emily's soul, her being, not her brain, that decides who she will connect most with. In this interpretation, what is important to Emily is the connection from within – she wants someone who shares the same soul desires that she does. This makes sense when we think of how small and intimate Emily's group of friends were. She spoke with only people she trusted and was very fervent about connecting with them. The second stanza could be a reference to the number of times that visitors would come to the Dickinson house and Emily wouldn't make any appearance. Often she would stay in her room during the visits of others, no matter their importance. The final stanza supports the same thought, but in a less physical way. Emily's attentions was streamlined and focused on close friends, family, and her poetry. There are many people, "an ample nation," from which she could have chosen companions, but she chose her few and the closed "the Valves of her attention."
The second interpretation of this poem places Emily not as the speaker, but as the person being shut from the valves of attention. This reading sees Emily attempting to understand why some people (perhaps Abiah Root, mentioned in my post "Write Me Soon?") seemed to shut her out of their lives. In this reading the Emperor in the second stanza is Emily herself kneeling and waiting to be accepted, but always being rejected. This interpretation helps us understand the strong words that are used in the poem – like "stone." One might argue that this poem must be read in a more harsh tone, making it less likely that it's Emily rejecting others.
Either interpretation gives insight to Emily's thoughts on relationships. Whether she is the one selecting her society or the one not being selected for a society, it is clear that Emily believes that one can't be friends with all and that friendship cannot be a one-sided affair.
The second poem that we are going to look at is Poem 249, also known as "Wild Nights."
Wild Nights—Wild Nights!
Were I with thee
Wild Nights should be
Our luxury!
Futile—the Winds—
To a Heart in port—
Done with the Compass—
Done with the Chart!
Rowing in Eden—
Ah, the Sea!
Might I but moor—Tonight—
In Thee!
This again is a poem that has many different interpretations. Often it is read as a strictly erotic poem describing Emily's imagined night of intimacy with a man. It has also been read as a poem about the eroticism that happens in the wake of a connection with God. There are many critics who would point to this as an encounter with the the Almighty at which Emily is struck with a sublime feeling of emotion. Neither of these interpretations are what I would like to focus on for this though. I would like to look at this poem as a matter of longing for an emotional and romantic connection with another person. Paul Faris, in his article from The New England Quarterly entitled "Eroticism in Emily Dickinson's 'Wild Nights,'" expounds on this idea: "[I]nterpreters of this fine poem have minimized or even failed to see the despair which is its central point." He argues that the poem is not about a wild night of erotic sex, but instead is a poem about a wild storm that the speaker wants to be rid of. The poem is a longing to come into port from a storm of singleness and be in the arms of a loving relationship. The winds mentioned in the second stanza are futile when the speaker thinks of the Heart that is in a port waiting for her. Once she gets to the port, the compass and the chart are unnecessary. She is imaging being able to be in Eden – to dock the boat and be out of the roaring waves.
Faris elaborates on what this poem means by rewriting it in a paragraph form. Please forgive me for the long quotation:
"'Stormy nights on the sea of life are buffeting me, and I need thee desperately ' cries Emily. 'If I could only be safe in harbor with thee, the winds howling outside would lose their fearfulness, would even be welcome, for their futile efforts to get at us would only give us a luxurious sense of our sufficiency in each other. I would be rowing peacefully with thee in paradise, no longer depending desperately on compass and chart. But ah, I do not have thee, and the sea does buffet me. O that I might have tonight thy protective presence!'"
This rewriting helps us understand Faris' view point of the poem and allows us to look at this poem in more than one way.
Many of Emily's poems are about the connections that we have as humans. She attempts to explore all aspects of the human experience. Although she was never married or involved in any known sexual relationships, Emily is able to shed light on the human condition in relationships. She develops the longing and uncertainty that comes in these relationships and expresses them in a universal way.
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