Life of Emily and God

We have learned quite a bit about Emily and the questioning that she would do about the world around her. It is almost impossible to talk about Emily and her poetry without exploring the religion in her life and the questions that she asked about it. Emily was never one to take something as the truth just because it was handed to her. She'd take it, turn it over and over, open it, break it down to small pieces, reassemble it, and then possibly make a decision. Emily never seemed to come to a conclusion on most concepts in her life. Until her death, Emily was writing, thinking, and questioning everything in her circuit.
Emily's was born into a family of Calvinists and was not at all unfamiliar with the Christian mindset. She grew up in church and many of her poems have grand religious imagery in them. Her family, along with attending church weekly would have family services in the house. Her father was friends with many ministers and leaders of the church, who would often visit the Dickinson household. It is clear that she knew everything that a Calvinist woman should, and it is also clear that she didn't believe everything a Calvinist woman should. Through her poetry and letters, we can clearly see the conflict that Emily went through in her belief system. She spent her whole life thinking about, writing about, and seeking the truth of Christianity and God. It is clear that she didn't fully agree with everything in the Calvinist church, as she stopped attending services in the later years of her life. Many critics take this as a sign that she ultimately gave up on religion, however, she does continue to write about religion and her questions long after that time.
One year that is pointed to as formative in Emily's thinking about the church was her time at Mt. Holyoke College. This was a religious women-only college, and Emily was attending during a time of religious revival in the northeast. After the required chapels each day, there would be an alter call and numerous women would go to the alter and give or regive their lives to Christ. During her year there, Emily never went to the alter. She felt like her faith was hers and was not something to publicly display. However, this decision placed Emily on the outside of the norm, seemingly chastised by others there. Emily was always homesick and looked forward to going home where she could express herself properly. This experience may have been a jumpstart to her thinking about religion.

Let's take some time to dive into some of the poems about religion and to help us understand the questions that Emily had.
One of the main questions had to do with eternity, immortality, and death. This is always a question when thinking about God. Is there an afterlife? What happens when I die? Many of Emily's religious poems also fall into the context of her death poems. We're going to look at two poems, one showing the believing side, and one showing the unbelieving side, but both within the context of death.

Poem 1551:

Those—dying then,
Knew where they went—
They went to God's Right Hand.
That Hand is amputated now
And God cannot be found—

The abdication of Belief
Makes the Behavior small—
Better an ignis fatuus
Than no illume at all—

This poem sounds a lot like Nietzsche, who popularized the "death of God." His view was that God was something people created in order to make the world understandable. Humans couldn't explain everything around them, and so a deity was created to explain. He argued that, in light of the recent scientific discoveries, God was no longer needed, and in 1882 (the same year this poem was written) declared that God was dead. Emily, by this point had already had years of questioning religion and thinking about her beliefs, and perhaps Nietzsche's claim made some sense to her. In this poem, she doesn't go as far as Nietzsche, but does echo his thought. God seems to be invisible, like a hand that was once there is now gone. People are unsure of their fate. In the second stanza though, we can see her uncertainty in religion. She says that it's better to have an "ignis fatuus,"a Latin term meaning fake of misleading light, than no light at all. Perhaps God isn't quite right, but it's better to have some light then to be left in complete darkness.

A poem in contrast to this is Poem 150, where Emily seems to affirm a belief in heaven:

She dies—this was the way she died.
And when her breath was done
Took up her simple wardrobe
And started for the sun.
Her little figure at the gate
The Angels must have spied,
Since I could never find her
Upon the mortal side.

After reading this poem it seems clear that Emily believes that this "she" is in heaven. This may, however, be a last resort for her. She says that she can't find her on the mortal side, so she must therefore be in heaven. Emily's faith in eternity or immortality was not a strong faith. She seems to only be able to come to this conclusion after searching through all other possible options. There are many times in her letters where she affirms this faith in God during the death of a loved one. In 1879 she wrote a small note to Mrs. Henry Hills who's infant, Samuel, had just died. She simply said, "'Come unto me.' Beloved Commandment. The Darling obeyed." This is clearly a reference to Matthew 19:14 when Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me...." Emily, when faced with the reality of death, especially a child's death, seems to find rest in the belief of God and heaven.

These two poems are only a small glimpse into the thinking about religion Emily did. All through her numerous years of writing poetry, Emily wrote about religion and what it meant for death and life. It is impossible to give you a full overview of her thoughts in this short blog, but hopefully through these two poems you can see her doubts, questions, and partial conclusions. None of her religious poems seem completely set on one idea, all of them question in some way. Some of Emily's poems point to a disbelief in God and others point to a belief in God. Many of them do not denounce God, but possibly denounce the organized religion of Christianity. It is clear through these poems and others that we've looked at that Emily believed in something. She believed in nature and its power, she questioned science and what it's impact on belief will be, and she loved with a great and mighty fulness that many would say seems almost religious. Emily has strong beliefs, but she also has strong questions. It is impossible for us or anyone to really understand what she believed, to know where Emily may be now. But, it is clear that Emily lead a full and wonderful life. A life full of love, hope, joy, and pain. Emily was a deep questioner, thinker, and lover. She was a beautiful and full life.