When thinking about Dickinson, I've found that it's best to let go of everything you have ever heard about her. Every poem you've read, every though you've had, just let them all go. You want your mind to be fresh and clean - we're going to fill it with a much more holistic Emily Dickinson. Sure, part of my job is to convince you that Dickinson wasn't the death-obsessed, wide-eyed hermit everyone thinks she was, but in order to do that, I need you to let go of what you thought you knew about Emily.
Emily Dickinson loved people, more deeply and truly than most would understand. However, Dickinson was a true introvert. She enjoyed having time alone to read and think. She was energized by being alone and was quickly diminished by the company of others. This led to many hours and years of quiet and thoughtful study in her house, which led to the writing of 1,775 found poems and hundreds of letters. Emily Dickinson was not constrained to her house, she chose to stay there. During her younger years, Emily did get out. She took many small trips as well as trips to Boston and Philadelphia. She attended college for a year at Mt. Holyoke, but found that she thought differently than most there and chose to leave. She was greatly attached to her family - a mother, father, sister, and brother - and spent her life caring for and loving them. Many believe that the devotion she had toward her family is the reason she never married. Personally, I believe that might have been the case in the beginning, but after developing as a poet, her poetry is what kept her at home (this will be explored thoroughly in a later post).
If you ever get a chance to grab a copy of Emily's Letters you will quickly see the amount of energy and hope that she put into the relationship of those around her. She loved to love and wanted to have constant communication with the people in her life. Her closest companions change as she grows older, many she lives to see pass on, and others just pass out of her life.
Emily was such an intense friend she actually pushed many people out of her life. She constantly wanted to know everything there was to know about a person and his or her life. She wanted daily updates and was always waiting for the mail to come. Many of her letters begin with grief over the long absence of a letter (which, in many cases, was only a few short weeks) and end with a begging for a long letter back. There are many examples of this:
"I have been looking for a letter from you this long time but not receiving any I plucked up all the remaining courage that I had left and determined to make one more effort to write you a few lines..."
--A letter to Jane Humphrey in May of 1842
"Do write to me soon Dear A & let it be a long—long letter. Dont forget—!!!!!"
--A letter to Abiah Root in September of 1846
"Write me as long a letter as this is very soon."
--A letter to Austin Dickinson in February of 1848
Abiah Root is a great example of the extent to which Emily loved. It is thought that perhaps Emily pushed Abiah away with her intensity of freindship. Abiah was a friend of Emily's during her younger years and into her time at Mt. Holyoke. It is not quite known why the two stopped communicating, but in a letter to Abiah in October of 1848 Emily expresses her deep concern over the loss of friendship.
"Six long months have tried hard to make us strangers, but I love you better than ever notwithstanding the link which bound us in that golden chain is sadly dimmed, I feel more reluctant to lose you from that bright circle, whom I've called my friends I mailed a long letter to you the 1st of March, & patiently have I waited a reply, but none has yet cheered me....[I]f you dont want to be my friend any longer, say so, & I'll try once more to blot you from my memory. Tell me very soon, for suspense is intolerable."
From this, we can see how deeply Emily felt the relationship and the loss of communication. She felt it to strongly that she completely lost track of the time that she hadn't heard from Abiah. The letter that she mentions was actually written in mid-May. However, to Emily, the pain that she feels at not receiving anything from a beloved friend is too unbearable to even remember how long it's been since they last spoke.
Emily's love of people can not be overstated. These quick examples are from the beginning of her life when she felt the loss very acutely and expressed it mainly through letters. My belief is that she didn't understand why others were not as attached to her as she was to them. She wanted everyone to write her everyday so that she could write them everyday. It took time for Emily to realize that her attachement was stronger than others. Later in her life, she still longed for the people that had left her, but this loss was usually expressed through her poetry. She came to understand that she was different in her love, but that love was her business.
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